“You can’t criticise unless you participate”

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Do you have any girlfriends who have certain expectations of their man? 

I’m sure we all do. Let’s take one of my girlfriends as an example. She has been in a committed relationship for three years now. One day, while we were catching up over coffee, she told me how her man never bothered dressing up when they went out, and she wasn’t very happy about it. I asked her, “What about you? You seem to wear jeans and a T-shirt whenever we meet up. Do you also wear jeans and a T-shirt when you go out with him? She smiled brightly and said, “Yes!” I then asked her why she doesn’t wear something nice when she goes out with him. She said she felt more comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt. I’m sure that by now most of you will know where I’m going with this, but she still didn’t know what I was getting at. I held her hands and looked her in the eyes and said, “Sweetheart, why do you expect your man to wear something nice when he goes out with you, when you don’t put any effort into wearing something nice yourself? What you see in your man is a reflection of you. I’ll bet that if you start dressing up when you go out with him, he will notice and start paying more attention to how he dresses, too.”

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change”

Do not try to make a man change into the person you want him to be. Start with yourself. Be the change you want to see in him. It’s easier to change yourself than to change others. For those of you who want your man to lose some weight, you can start to go to the gym yourself. Once you have lost some weight and look really good, your man may well start to join you at the gym. He will be inspired by your actions and he will also realise that he has to start making changes in his own life, otherwise he may lose you to someone who is making more of an effort than he is. 

It’s not playing games; it’s knowing what you want for yourself, and being determined to achieve it. Lead by example! Give it a try & let me know how you go with it. 

Make the change!

Have you had high expectations of your partner, without being willing to apply the same standards to yourself? Do you think you have a right to an opinion about what your man does, regardless of the choices you make? Do you not really mind about the choices your partner makes, provided you are content with your life?