“Some kisses are given with the eyes”

Do you consider yourself to be the kind of woman who always respects her partner’s feelings?

What about in social situations? Do you consider flirting to be something that could be hurtful to your partner or do you see it as just a bit of harmless fun?

When you are in a committed relationship it is normal and healthy to have male friends, just as it is normal and healthy for your partner to have female friends. This isn’t about completely cutting ties with the opposite gender. This is about how you interact with other men. They may be single or in committed relationships themselves, but that is not the point. The point is your intentions and expectations. We’re not talking about just sharing a private joke or giving someone a compliment on how they look, we’re talking about genuine flirting, with the suggestion that there could be more available than just friendship. If you find that you frequently flirt with other men, it is worth thinking about why you choose to do so. What do you want from them? Do you feel that you need the attention? If so, what does this say about your relationship? 

Everyone has different views about what constitutes flirting, but really the defining mark is the intent behind the actions. Some people are naturally very tactile, and some are very gregarious. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are intentionally flirting. Only you can know where the lines lie, but you have to be honest with yourself, because otherwise you are not being fair to anyone.

“Flirting is the promise of more without a guarantee”

Let’s turn the tables. How would you feel if your man was constantly flirting with other women? Would you feel respected or humiliated by that sort of behaviour? When you both agree to be in a committed relationship it is important to have clear boundaries, to ensure you do not hurt one another. Flirting may seem like harmless fun, but if you think about what your behaviour looks like from the outside, it is easy to see that it can be very hurtful. 

Another point worth considering, beyond the fact that you may be hurting your man, is that you might want to consider how other people may view you if they see you behaving in a very flirtatious manner with other men while you are in a relationship. It is unlikely to inspire feelings of trust and respect from the people around you, if they see you behaving in ways that indicate you cannot be trusted and do not have respect for your partner. It is also diminishing to your partner in terms of how others may view him, let alone how he feels about watching you flirt with someone else. 

All of these reasons should be food for thought. What can seem like harmless fun may well have deeper implications that you may not have thought about. 

Flirting or hurting – share your stories

What are your experiences? Are you a flirt? How do you handle other women flirting with your man?