“All relationships have one law. Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there”
Do you find yourself getting defensive when your man expresses his thoughts about things you do that bother him?
I used to react very defensively, and in the end it cost me my marriage. If your man no longer believes he can confide in you without being attacked, then your relationship is not going to work in the long run. If he does not feel safe sharing his inner world with you, where else can he turn? Of course you don’t want him to share his deepest thoughts and feelings with another woman. Affairs can easily be triggered by one partner turning to someone else to meet emotional needs which are not being satisfied within their relationship.
If your man finds himself looking elsewhere for emotional fulfilment, then after a while he may begin to feel he has finally found someone who can listen without judging him, and this may lead him to believe that she understands him more than you do. He and this woman may start to have an emotional connection that feels so good they can no longer resist each other. He will spend more time with her because he feels better about himself whenever he’s with her. You will spend more time by yourself at home without him. Anger & frustration will start to build up inside you, becoming more and more difficult to contain, until you eventually explode. Needless to say, that will be the end of your relationship with
him.
Even if your man does not turn to another woman for the comfort and solace that he is not getting from you, he is likely to become very unhappy and withdrawn. Try thinking back to when you first fell in love. Would you want to be a source of deep unhappiness in his life? It is easy to shut yourself off from the pain that you are causing to someone else and to only think of your own feelings, but if you want your relationship to work, you need to learn to stand back from yourself a little.
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked”
In order to avoid the sorrows that can grow from shutting someone down every time they try to talk to you about their feelings, you need to become open to recognising their needs. Learn to be aware of your emotions. Be a good listener and allow your man to talk about the things that bother him about you without becoming defensive. You don’t have to agree with everything he says, but you do need to respect his views. When he has finished sharing his feelings, thank him for taking the time to talk to you and let him know that you appreciate him. It’s that simple. This is something you can put into practice straight away. Give it a try!
Feeling defensive
Do you find yourself becoming defensive when your man tries to talk to you? Are you good at seeing things from his point of view?