Have you ever made judgements about a man before you’ve even spoken to him? You may have decided that he wasn’t worth your time, only to change your mind once you get to know him. Once you discover that he has similar aims and ambitions, that he is motivated, hard-working, with a strong sense of self and a clear vision for what he wants from life, you start to view him in a very different light. Maybe he is running a successful business, investing his hard-earned money in property, and has a great sense of humour. Perhaps he is artistic and creative, devoting much of his time to charity. Whatever it is, once you start to find out more about him, you realise there is a great deal more to him than meets the eye! You might not consider him to be classically good looking, but after spending a few hours in his company you begin to sense there is a strong emotional connection, and you regret having judged him so quickly. 

“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances”

If you have ever found yourself in this position then you are not alone. It takes an average of seven seconds to make a judgement about someone. I have been guilty of this in the past. I once met a guy in a seminar; we chatted briefly during the break and exchanged phone numbers. A few days later we met for coffee and got to know each other on a personal level. We were both already in committed relationships, so the connection we made was not romantic, but we realised we were on a shared path to discover our limitless potential in life, and quickly became good friends. 

People will come into your lives in all kinds of situations and circumstances, and the more open you are to the possibility that this may be someone that can bring something positive into your world, the greater the likelihood that you will find the person who you make a deep and lasting emotional connection with. It’s all about keeping an open heart and an open mind. It can be easy to close ourselves off from new experiences for a number of reasons, but the wider we open our arms to embrace the world, the more we will be able to receive! It can be very easy to stand in judgement. We are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful people living wonderful lives, but these images have little to do with reality, and they can leave us feeling that there is always something more or something better that we should be striving to achieve. If we focus all our attention on some idealised picture of what life could be, it is easy to miss the beautiful things that do present themselves to us.

Standing in judgement – share your stories

What are your experiences about having judged a man before you’ve got to know him?